pipenot


NOTES TOWARDS

I wonder if more importance was given to our own inner sensing of ourselves and less to telling us what we are like, a generalised 'normal: two legs, two arms, shaped like this, with fingers like this, etc., whether we would naturally have a richer and subtler understanding, vocabulary of being.

In drawing movement alone shows us that perspective changes, priorities alter. Set positions, poses is a minor detail never experienced like that in reality. We're prevented from exploring the world through our taste/mouth. The same can be said with smell and touch. We become limited to sight, with hearing close on. However what might we have discovered, how might we develop if we could smell and touch things new to us?
We're also forced to move, walk in certain ways. Living at ground/floor level would have been easier for me but even at home, conventions have to be adhered to.

"What is my body image?" But is that the wrong question?
It's not just a matter or re-asking myself certain set questions, such as questions set by feminism, or liberal humanism, questions of the left, for what is their equality?
The shape of a question pre-conceives an answer.
So much comes, words I cannot write. How do I form it? Use it in my work?

Yes, that's true for my body. There is a sense that in even saying 'my body,' the word 'body' - which holds so much that isn't of my experience, except my experience of receiving it from outside - is irrelevant.

I am not asked question which would open up to me what my experience is like, nor therefore ways, such as a vocabulary, of exploring it. The questions which are asked from the medical realm, for example, prescribe an established answer or are irrelevant.
"What's the pain on a scale of one to ten?" How ridiculous!

Questions are very much about control and power. Their control of us. Not finding out what my experience is really about, for then I'd be acknowledged as the expert. For who has the power to ask and expect a reply? Who holds the text? Who writes in what?


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