Bodies of Difference
A Different Body Experiences
A Different Universe Endlessly subject to
re-interpretation
re-formation



   
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my feet are chipped


Not dirt but a fine dust

I brush against my skin,
push
these cells with my skirt.
Toes ruffle,
rifle through.
layers of life. Surrounded
by my tangible
history.
Throw up a fine dust,
showered in my own glory
always in passing.









how do earthworms dress
with great aplomb









when will the feather land
when will the zebra be a man

Is this what he had, what we share
a lease until fifty, then decisions
to be made, feelings to be realigned
or, the question waits hovering wings -
is there only this predetermined termination
genetically?
And, if our life lease is open to manoeuvre,
is any realignment possible or as solidly
determined?
Feelings learned a lifetime but time
life short, disillusion and grief cut.
Take him, my father: loyalty unwavering;
their's failed a crowing three,
dissolving bonds which counted though
only asymmetrically, not a part of
efficient economic functioning.
Pinning the butterfly to the steel drum.
Then bewildered, so unpredictable that
success or failure. Thirty years since his
death, contractual breathed in months, days,
not long enough to spell "commitment"

If not a genetic leased bag but
skill in re-evolving,
when will the feather land
when will the zebra be a man









The Police Watch This Forecourt

As I sit waiting with patience declining.
though polite lessons well learned,
I know with delicate certainty, that he
is seeing through the back of my head.
Watching through my eyes, a terrifying
experience for him. He shakes to
awake from this waiting reverie

The Police Watch This Forecourt









Filmed
as he travels his world, a soft contact lens mosaic,
coloured circles overlap, existing, disappearing
his head dematerialises, evanesce in refracted light
dissolve evaporates, outside vanishes, the film fades









The Art of Paper Folding

Child, barely born and into frame another.
She, a small square of short, black skirt against
her friend's lemon fillet of fashion, waist to ankle.
Boat boots wedged for a mooring
and, in between, flat folding,
white tight ticker tape legs.
Their faces pinched and eager
Each child fresh for origami









Ah, sweet childhood

a dead baby laid on living chest
"look child, soon you'll be with
this baby" the nurse, without a
British Nuremberg taking place,
no court but constant holocaust
account without account, is immune.
Cruelty can be pursued,
just find the times where
each life's not scale balanced
one with another
(and this time is always for us)

but others, they would counsel, understanding -
the nurse not enabled to escape a demoralising
system, shrinking self to nothing ..
but I find it hard to forgive, how can I forgive
for those numberless lives not lived,
just endlessly
endured?









Stains.


Visiting an ethnography museum
I found, in the textile section, a hat with veil belonging to
George Merrick. Called a 'Victorian freak' on Radio 4;
'Elephant man' titled a film. His garments are kept
with saliva and other stains
intact.
Looking through his veil I saw a shimmering white corridor.
Above the arched entrance a sign in gold too ornate to decipher.
Once inside I found neat cabinets, tables piled high with clothes, scattered,
stretching the length of the space, disappearing into white.
A woman wheeled towards me,
"I'm the curator of this extensive display, though some identifying labels
have yet to be written. We're continually archiving material."
She directed me to a series of glass cases, dedicated to the recent past
almost present, containing the simulacrum of normal adult male figures, dressed.
Charts gave specimen analysis of the clothes,
"revealing" the curator said, "a story behind the stains, for those
who wish to read them."

Some garments showed various blood groups smeared besides soil extracts,
all countries are named -
Korea, Vietnam, Northern Ireland, Bosnia, Rawanda, Iraq, Afganistan...
and all terrains too if you go backward or forward far enough.
Large photographs detail areas where stains predominate but are
difficult to see clearly, such as the crotch area of trousers.
Here samples of children's saliva and mucous from genitals and anus are shown,
with traces of earth from the Far East and lately Eastern Europe.
Footwear too is a part of this conventional social history. Boots
showed deposits from burnt Amazonian forests, Indonesian and Burmese.
Nearby an exhibit of gloves with evidence of powder burns.
A small diagram examined the
perfect mechanism of thumb to forefinger for pulling a trigger.
Seeking the curator to ask who started the exhibition and why,
I moved past cabinets which efficiently articulated everyday life and slabs,
chaotically piled with a conglomeration of ordinary, mundane items.
Thinking I saw her through a translucent curtain I moved it aside,
looking back I found I could read the sign above
the arched entrance to the corridor,
now tarnished it said, 'Normal Specimens'.

Visiting an ethnography museum I found a hat with veil
belonging to George Merrick, he was called, 'a freak'.









Latent

If your interpretation
bores, fabricate a new one,
Leave your deposits, miners
on a continual last shift.

Meaning









She held the gun soft to her skin,
tucked in slim pants, hiked up
fitting, a comfort, discomfort
the curve of her flesh. What was
soft became firm in stretch tension,
almost weave, almost but the set
pattern of not a woman's lived body, no,
a mind set on make, take, raking it in.









Crossing
from left words to right image?

Intricate as a digital loom the wheel weaves water,
turning the moment, caught, recovers memories.
Ideas splash to the edge yet, as still reflection
returns, words wind down, disappear, all becomes
flat planes of colour, tone. Charcoal lines displacing
space, fine papers compared a suitability to hold the
image. A sheet of glass, transparent, moves in mind
cuts a different way of looking, ready for printing ink




Hospital appointment -
waiting for the car to be parked -
watching a puddle from my wheelchair -

Pattern the motion, loom layers caught in words,
soft edge. Mind lines glass, cuts reflection,
move diagonal, transparent through memory,
a moment's space intricate.
Wind layers a suitability, a ready disarray still to return,
wheel caught ruffled in fine spray disappear,
fat rolls water, time after time,
like flesh full rolling the body of a young dog.
Displacing motion, ideas become a calm disarray,
splash reflection mind in lines edge, flat for glass,
intricate diagonal to memory a ready moment.
Words cut wind caught returns,
loom down the falling moment, the calm
splash, interlaced in soft lines, wheel, diagonal glass
moves as planes, layers weaves for papers more reflection. Ink
suitability as mind holds the loom,
caught way different
through layers down, printing moments disarray.
Lines become image, disappear, still loom the moment
splash fine caught colour,
ruffled motion printing flat ideas to wind papers.









cloth long to context in ruffled motion,
fall breaths
fat slice memories
keep old in loom days moment or
caught glass on a return
for reassurance woman looms in words
woman's different edge,
skin becomes
meaning
displacing
layers worlds
femininity like
writing turning in the gestures
transparent
though caught reflection substantial in flat image.
reading enlarged, camera unpacked lucid
she deep intricate folds her colour ink memories
history flat diagonal
becomes edge lines or cut whispers
still hinged, charcoal their design
replaced recovers as explanation,
woman all reinstated looms
from unwanted edges away.

---

speculate -
crack -
femininity -
sit -
hoe -

femininity falling old in her long camera shadow
of woman
woman refusal
He man, all real bland surface, transgressed,
is flat there.
She feeds me, clinging ribcage in breaths biography
our mouths replaced a revolution.

how meaning is generated through reading yourself,
your invisibility,
woman whispers from the context of real life..
that's shaken, something being
shell slices warm, time too smeared across my night.

When her attainment mouths failure
just speaking fragments tamed,
with mouth seeing their message
much waiting reflected,
though of me the blue-black deep gestures
not under exposed, enlarged, hard narrative,
today mass days the fact exchange on deferral hustling

---

corners enlarged,
skin shell rolls mouths
woman fear memories covers moments
architectured mind, image hinged the edges
mouth splash falling
from motion, loom loom lucid woman
deferral of a different displacing
memories disarray, weaves ideas
transgressed looking layers caught meaning
S/He memory shows
weaves of colour
returns explanation, cloth displacing
lines sharp caught hanging down,
fragments a moment fast calm narrative,
time layers poetry soft just
days lines exposed, receipts of moments
splash they corpuscles of feminine disarray,
a me unpacked flat
a hoe, camera, wheel, cuts
cuts glass moment illusions, roaring
memory intricate
a tougher face looms perception reading,
with me speculate, not tamed like her.
She generated a flat played surface, motion falling motion
layers run glass, they disappear in diagonal reflection
a different suitability, a suitability ruffled.
femininity
lines slip razor history, the flesh caught fine









Intricate as a digital loom the wheel weaves water,
turning the moment, caught, recovers memories.               Appointment
Ideas splash to the edge yet, as still reflection
returns, words wind down, disappear, all becomes                   Crossing
flat planes of colour, tone. Charcoal lines displacing
space, fine papers compared a suitability to hold the                  Water
image. A sheet of glass, transparent, moves in mind
cuts a different way of looking, ready for printing ink

Pattern the motion, loom layers caught in words,        cloth long to context in ruffled motion,
soft edge. Mind lines glass, cuts reflection,                           fall breaths
move diagonal, transparent through memory,                        fat slice memories
a moment's space intricate.                              keep old in loom days moment or
Wind layers a suitability, a ready disarray still to return,              caught glass on a return
wheel caught ruffled in fine spray disappear,          for reassurance woman looms in words
fat rolls water, time after time,                                woman's different edge,
like flesh full rolling the body of a young dog.                            skin becomes
Displacing motion, ideas become a calm disarray,                           meaning
splash reflection mind in lines edge, flat for glass,                  displacing layers worlds
in    tricate diagonal to memory a ready moment.                    femininity like
Words cut wind caught returns,                              writing turning in the gestures
loom down the falling moment, the calm                         transparent though  caught
splash, interlaced in soft lines, wheel, diagonal glass             reflection substantial in flat image.
moves as planes, layers reflection. Ink suitability           reading enlarged, camera unpacked lucid
as mind holds the loom, weaves for papers more     she deep intricate folds her colour ink memories
caught way different through  printing moments disarray.                 history flat diagonal        
Lines become image, disappear, still loom the moment             becomes edge lines or cut whispers
splash fine caught colour,                                  still hinged, charcoal their design
ruffled motion printing flat ideas to wind papers.           replaced recovers as explanation,
woman all reinstated looms                     from unwanted edges away.
corners enlarged,                             skin shell rolls mouths
woman fear memories covers moments
femininity falling old in her long camera                 architectured mind, image hinged the edges
shadow of woman                                           mouth splash falling   
woman refusal                                        from motion, loom loom lucid woman
He man, all real bland surface, transgressed,                   deferral of a different displacing
is flat there.                                              memories disarray, weaves ideas
She feeds me, clinging ribcage in breaths biography         transgressed looking layers caught meaning
our mouths replaced a revolution.                          S/He memory shows
weaves of colour
how meaning is generated through reading yourself,          returns explanation, cloth displacing
your invisibility,                                    lines sharp caught hanging down,
woman whispers from the context of real life..          fragments a moment fast calm narrative,
that's shaken, something being                             time layers poetry soft just
shell slices warm, time too smeared across my night.         days lines exposed, receipts of moments
splash they corpuscles of feminine disarray,
When her attainment mouths failure                                 a me unpacked flat
just speaking fragments tamed,                         a hoe, camera, wheel, cuts
with mouth seeing their message                     cuts glass moment illusions, roaring
much waiting reflected,                                    memory intricate
though of me the blue-black deep gestures            a tougher face looms perception reading,
not under exposed, enlarged, hard narrative,                 with me speculate, not tamed like her.
today mass days the fact exchange on deferral hustling       She generated a flat played surface,
motion falling motion              layers run glass,       they disappear in diagonal reflection
a different suitability, a suitability ruffled.
femininity                 lines slip razor history, the flesh caught fine









Residue appearance,
ironic surface,
a presence left,
was I a part to start,
something after, remaining.
An iron surface changed, time left residue rust,
residue history, leaving colour, appearance,
time.
Stains run unbound across the surface,
presence after
Unbound shavings, everything iron left, a past
process.
Evidence, something ironic left,
ironic time unbound.









Looks In Passing

Aside from slight motion and berating, grating noise, intensifying as
loosened metal rubs its neighbour, vile vibrations, train travel implies,
seduces to a calm sitting in rooted building. A waiting, watching,
sleeping, leisured doing of crosswords, reading, report writing, with
conversation and quick consumption of coke and crisps, broken
occasionally by immobile phone beeps, recalling somewhere else.
A metal cocoon room set high perhaps, accounting for the sway.
Even looking beyond, motion lends calm to the scene but attention
caught closer, not inside yet not left behind belonging to land, either.

Driven diagonally,
drops traverse glass,
conflict force moves to horizontal,.
Their direction reverse our passing,
the pull between terrains cross.
Expressions now
slip,
slide,      falter,
muscles unseen shape my look
unseen.
A stranger arriving possesses, who is this?
Momentarily I try out, practice this unused self,  
then mask release to
reassign,
realign the complex structure,
content to be familiar, comfortable,
settled
in face
but the pull between terrains
crossing remains.

On return
a boy with lost smile, not once appearing, wears a large tortoise
snugly protecting his fragile skull, delicate expression. Safe from
bike spills, with nothing to cushion the meaning which lies behind,
"You don't feel you're being shunted between houses do you?"
asks his father. willing his boy to say 'no'. Reaching to form his
words in his mouth as he pulls them to expression, needing
reassurance, refusal of his son's pain, son's disjointing.
Their bare legs entangled, man's arms cupping boy's body,
the small child replies like scratching a message on stone
"I don't want to be driven to your house, can I not be driven in the car"
"Get your mother to get the bikes out, get a bit of exercise, eh?"
father says with force petering, no power lies between
mother and father now. The boy falls across their separation,
the pull between terrains crossing, intersects him.









Flowed bodies, living with cracks - Flawed vessels Intricate.
Fluid reflections splinter shapeless - Flowed vessels, evapour.

Tides scour skittish.
Sand vessels shore deeper, splintering recast shells,
shapeless heap, bodies to hostility.
Shale sibilant receives the sculpt shore baffled, seduce,
siphoned, cracks more roaring.
Reflections slatted,
refractions sea-scribed.
Siftings clutch, hoard roaring sense.
Tides come from reflections vapour,
vigour, slap, cast siftings, re-cast coast.
takes saline tides, a lucid extraction,
reflections flowed flawed sluicing.
Shingle slammed, living vessels sea-scribed,
suck-siphon saltwater, slapping, a sounding.
Shoaling, scavenge a heap satiric.
fluid sand reflections shore scour siftings,
Waves succouring the flowed surface sanguine.

saltwater
satiric,              scavenge,
scour,           sculpt,
seduce,            shoaling,
suck,         sibilant,
sounding,         siphoned,
skittish,          slammed,
slatted,               slapping,
sluicing,            succouring,
surfaced,           sea-scribed,
saline,               sanguine.

Fluid reflections
On the shore a slap, sluice roar,
roaring as the tides clutch our heap of siftings
sand
shale
shells
shingle,
a deeper sense of what's to come
siftings on the strand
a scour roar baffled
as tides clutch
our heap of sand
not to be recast on
this shore again.









mystery streams, conspiracy streams
relentless on the bare head
I wish I'd revitalised the solemn mouth
In this callously boiling weather -
blister facilitate, blister culminate,
listen to aggravation overpower,
listen to boredom overpower,
on nature superimpose their own incoherent wind.

her takes to the real purpose,
throws,
shows your absence,
hurries to a memory from adolescence,
her comes,
extends from her aversion,
wants things from her trouble,
takes elegance,
expects things from her enemy,
her leads to them,
struggles
her hides from her onslaught,
receives extracts
her hurries to give reassurance.
chaos,
her steals from her,
hides,
her shows it to a dead ancestor,
sings,
runs to everything

She kneels on the floor bending into herself keening, the weeping spread, then slight lift stretch forward, polishing a small circle, appears to cup her hand, pull something to her, pull, sweep minute piles of dust









Club Priorities.

In
English
sun
shining
serenity, they,
in the elegance of a country house,
spend
one hour
discussing how not to cancel
the debt impoverishment
of other
peoples,
not represented.
Afterwards the prime minister of
France, sends congratulations to
Arsenal on winning
the cup final, their manager and two
team players being French.
Tony Blair commiserates with
Newcastle United,
the club he supports.

(G8 Summit, Birmingham 1998)









The sun streams down relentless on your bare head.
In this blister buzz boiling weather, I wish I'd got
your perfect body,
I could till the soil,
re-dig until
it conformed
to my will
and
mowing,
use my perfect hearing to listen to
motor overpower nature.
Oh,
what superiority to possess.









Queue.

People rush
to museums,
wanting  
transient
exhibitions,
expecting
permanent
collections
to  remain,
awaiting
another day
in their
eternal lives,
unvisited.









So hands night, the obsess hidden,
gestures the pity gone,
of its symptology went shadows.
Replica terms develop,
spin soft around,
in comes ourselves the blue moment,
part absorption.
We knew, through Ironic eyes, the almost might.

Today her bones alone in witness
he skin stone truth, here romance.

I wrapped the bones all settled









Don't let your shadow fall on him or her,
once cast your existence no secret and
what might they do once offence occurs.
So keep fear close, intact and your self too,
suppressed, a shade might fade, with time
disappear









They, who no longer live there,
leave their light on late but
not quite as late as we do









If I had the key to his heart, I'd give it to him
so he could discover and explore it for himself.
If I had the key to my neighbour's house, I'd find
a boy desperate for a racket making machine
and handing him the key, release peace for myself.
If I had the key to power I'd unlock it's molecular
structure so it could no longer form an aggregate
but equal particles live with each one of us









I'm on the look out. I must watch, wait.
I don't want it to happen to me.
You're watching,
I'm watching, waiting,
Waiting, she watches.
waiting for your face to be invaded,
on the look out trying to evade.
waiting for my face to be invaded.
Not wanting her face to be
You don't want to be like him standing by that dog.
On the look-out trying to evade.
I don't want to be like you. invaded.
Not wanting to be like him standing by that dog.
Why is he standing so close?
Is that dog with you?
Are he and the dog together?
Why are you standing so close to it?
Not like you either, pretending not to notice,
Or that woman over there intent
carried along by your wonder-bra,
Is that dog with him?
Not like the woman over there either,
intent on the fall and regaining of
Not like you too.
carried along by her wonder-bra.
Not like any people she sees.
pretending not to notice intent on the fall
She wants control over her expression.
regaining of her anatomy,
your anatomy.
Not wanting to be like most people you see.
Not like any people I see.
No, you want control
I want control over my expression.
She's always afraid, watchfull.
watchfull I search each countenance but they're never free,
I'm always afraid,
Searching each countenance but they're never free,
Always accompanied by fear,
you search each countenance,
no one seems to escape.
none are free.

I'm on the look out. I must watch, wait. I don't want it to happen to me. I'm trying to evade it. I don't want to be like him standing by that dog. Why is he standing so close? Is he with that dog? Not like that woman over there either, carried along by her wonder-bra. You see her, the one pretending not to notice, intent on the fall and regaining of her anatomy? Not like any of the people I see. I don't want my face invaded like them. I want control of my expression. I'm always afraid, watchfull, searching each countenance I see but no one seems to escape, they're never free.

Waiting, she watches. Not wanting her face to be invaded. On the look-out trying to evade. Not wanting to be like him standing by that dog. Why is he standing so close? Is that dog with him? Not like the woman over there either, pretending not to notice intent on the fall and regaining of her anatomy, carried along by her wonder-bra. Not like any people she sees. She wants control over her expression. She's always afraid, watchfull. Searching each countenance but they're never free, no one seems to escape.

You're watching, waiting for your face to be invaded, on the look-out trying to evade. You don't want to be like him standing by that dog. Why is he standing so close? Are he and the dog together? Or that woman over there intent on the fall and regaining of her anatomy. Not wanting to be like most people you see. No, you want control over your expression. Always accompanied by fear, watchful, you search each countenance, no one seems to escape, none are free.

I'm watching, waiting for my face to be invaded. I'm on the look-out trying to evade it. I don't want to be like you. Is that dog with you? Why are you standing so close to it? Not like you either, pretending not to notice, carried along by your wonder-bra, intent on the fall and regaining of your anatomy. Not like you too. Not like any people I see. I want control of my expression. I'm always afraid, watchfull searching each countenance I see but no one seems to escape, they're never free.









A mis-placed metaphor?

Canal stretch.
Alligator skim the surface.
Roof of my mouth underwater.
Metaphor
Or
Scientific Laws?
Molecules,
          refracted light
        light refraction
                      ripples.
"Look" Search the flat reflection
"It's terrible,"
"What?"
"terrible."
"Wrinkles."
"Not alligators swimming your eyes "
   What                                  your face ?
"Worse since I lived there."
Crocodile snap, breeding their bite
           His bite.

A mis-placed metaphor love ?



More Poetry Wryts

Email her or return to: Red
 
Bodies of Difference
A Different Body Experiences
A Different Universe